


Fountains and Fireflies, You Fucker

by GlassAlice



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura doesn't appear, Bad Puns, But I wasn't, Crack, Did I mention that I was drunk, Drunkfilter, Fluff and Humor, Hunk is soft boy, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, I have the between season crazies, I ship Pidge with science, I was just drunk, I'm going crazy waiting for Voltron season 4, It's so much crack that it seems like i was on crack when I wrote this, M/M, One-shot Dialogue Prompt, Save Me, Space Mom Shiro, Tumblr Prompt, What Have I Done, all of the dialogues, i used all of them, keith blushes a lot, lance is best boy, liberal use of swears, some people use only one dialogue prompt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 20:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12328620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassAlice/pseuds/GlassAlice
Summary: If you like funny and Klance then this is your shit





	Fountains and Fireflies, You Fucker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Starbuck7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbuck7/gifts).



> Fic dedicated to Starbuck7 for putting up with my drunk ass.
> 
> [The Prompts.](http://writing-prompts-list.tumblr.com/post/127959665439/15-writing-prompts-dialog)

Lance had been counting down the days since they left Earth. The first month was a bit choppy but he got better as he learned the conversions of Altean time. After that, he’d had more success keeping track of the calendar. If his calculations were correct, today was April 1st. 

April Fool’s Day. 

Lance had been planning this day for months, now. The idea had come to him during a particularly stressful time for the squad; Pidge ate the whole fridge of food goo, Shiro had forgotten his eyeliner, Keith didn’t visit the training room the whole week, and Hunk stopped cooking. Lance decided then and there that it was his responsibility to bring a little fun back into their life. 

One couldn’t _always_ be saving the universe, now could they? Everyone had to relax once in awhile. So Lance had made his preparations and now everything was in place. All that was left was to enjoy the reactions and enjoy.

Team building. That’s what Iverson said they’d needed. Well, why not some good ol’ pranks to build some Voltron team unity?

Lance swaggered into breakfast, wrapped in his blue bathrobe, face pristine as usual. He stopped suddenly as a finger hit his chest and looked down. He followed the short, strong finger up the length of the arm connected to it finally resting on the face to which the finger belonged. 

“I don’t know who put the cat in my shower, but I’m unamused.” Keith punctuated all the words in his sentence with his finger on Lance’s chest, “I have a feeling it has something to do with you.”

Lance masked his amusement behind as neutral a face as he could muster and eyed Keith, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was asleep until an hour ago and then I was doing my morning routine. Which, I can assure you, doesn’t involve any cats.”

Lance pushed past the dark-haired young man and sat at the long table, lazily drawing green food goo onto his plate.

“I don’t know how,” Keith began, a twitch forming on his cheek, “but _you_ did this. I’m not going to stop until Shiro knows about this!”

Lance grimaced at the taste of the food goo, sans Hunk’s administrations, “Whatever mullet, you can’t trace this to me. How would I even find cats in space, anyway? I don’t think you thought this one through.”

A beat later, the rest of their team entered the mess hall.

Pidge looked around at the other members of Voltron, “Anyone else wake up to any strange alien creatures in their bathroom?”

Everyone but Keith looked at her like she was crazy. 

“There was a cat in mine,” Keith offered.

“Well, who would care to explain why my bathtub is full of space frogs? Pidge deadpanned. 

Keith leaned over to whisper in Pidge’s ear.

Lance shot out of his seat and yelled, “Whatever he’s saying, he’s lying!” pointing at Keith. 

Keith glared at Lance and Pidge nodded, “We can’t be sure that Lance is trying to sabotage Voltron with odd animals in bathrooms, Keith.”

Keith looked at Pidge like she had just kicked his puppy, or maybe his shower cat, “I trusted you with my secret.”

“It’s not a secret that Lance is the most likely to play a prank, Keith. Although you and Hunk are not free of suspicion.”

“Me?” Keith replied in shock. “Why would I put a cat in my own shower?!”

“Misdirection,” Pidge replied flatly.

“Where _is_ Hunk?” Lance asked, looking around the mess hall. The table was filled with Shiro, Keith, Pidge, and Lance, but Hunk was nowhere to be found. 

“We should find him,” Lance said, a bit of worry leaking into his voice, “he’s never late for breakfast.”

“I can’t eat food goo unless Hunk makes it anyways.” Pidge lamented, “I’m in, let’s search.”

Lance scraped his chair across the floor. Keith rolled his eyes, but ultimately joined in the search, perhaps also hoping for a more palatable plate of goo.

“Don’t take too long,” Shiro called after them. “A hearty breakfast makes a strong Paladin.” 

Lance lead the search party around the castle, exploring several hallways and nooks until they came to the observatory. Walking in, Pidge seemed to lose solid footing, but didn’t fall, instead rising further off the ground in the weightlessness of the room. Keith managed to grab Pidge’s ankle before it floated beyond his grasp, drawing the tiniest Paladin down just outside the door. 

“Hunk, you in here? Everything okay?” PIdge called, hands cupped around their mouth. 

“Yeah, where are you buddy?” Lance cupped a hand to his mouth, eyes sweeping the room.

“Up here!” Hunk called, and their eyes trailed up to see their golden companion waving at the small search party from the ceiling.

“What the crow!?” Lance stared bug-eyed. 

“Why can’t you use words correctly?” Keith glared at Lance.

“Actually, I think Lance just barely passed with his grammar this time.” Pidge said, pushing thin frames up along the length of a petite nose. “How did you get up there anyways, Hunk?” Pidge called.

“Yeah, buddy. You laugh too much, like in Mary Poppins or something?” Lance called out.

“Yeah!” Pidge giggled, “Maybe we should all have a tea party on the roof. I’ve always wanted to do that in real life.” Pidge looked up at Hunk, “What did you do? Is the gravity out or something? How safe is it in there?”

“I accidently shorted out the line to the artificial gravity while doing repairs,” Hunk called down. “Apparently the environmentals in this room are isolated.”

“Wait a second,” Pidge called, fiddling with the control panel next to the door. “I think I can override the system and find a redundant channel to open until we can repair the main line. Just get somewhere safe while I fix it.”

Lance laughed, “Guess no tea party for us, then?”

“Ready, Hunk?” Pidge called, but gave only half a beat for dissent that didn’t come. “Hold onto something!” Hunk grabbed onto one of the beams on the ceiling as gravity righted the room.

“So how’d you do this to yourself, anyways?’ Lance called up to the dangling Hunk. “Seems like you could have accessed most of the room’s functions from the external panel.” Lance looked up at Hunk.

“Quit asking how I got stuck up here and just catch me,” Hunk called down to them, immediately letting go of the beam he was holding onto.

Lance had enough time to let out a Very Manly Scream™ before being flattened by the weight of Hunk. The wind knocked out of his lungs as he tried (unsuccessfully) to catch Hunk, both of them ultimately landing weightily on the floor. 

“Thanks, guys.” Hunk smiled, lifting himself from the ground and patting invisible dirt from his rump.

Lance gasped, reaching a hand toward Pidge and Keith. “Halp,” he wheezed. 

“Thanks for saving me, Pidge.” Hunk smiled at his bespectacled friend.

“No problem Hunk-o, anytime.” Pidge smiled.

Lance reached out as far as he could, “Is no one going to help me?” He broke out into a fit of coughs.

“Not really,” said Pidge.

“Sorry bro, I need to start breakfast. Thanks for catching me, though.” Hunk shot Lance a shy smile. Pidge followed Hunk out to breakfast. 

“Don’t look at me,” Keith replied, turning on his heel and jogging a few steps to join the other two as they made their way back to the mess hall.

Lance crawled across the floor, internally decided that April Fool’s definitely wasn’t over; there was still much to do. “You’re next, Hunk,” Lance spoke to the empty room.

____

Hunk had finished cooking breakfast and was starting to stress-bake. After his escapade in the observatory he felt like making a pie to cheer himself up.

He pulled out a container of what looked like it could easily be cherries from the fridge and set them aside, putting together and kneading dough. Cherry pie, an american tradition, the stuff of songs, and also delicious. There was nothing that could go wrong with cherry pie. 

The process was soothing and before he knew it, the freshly baked pie was cooling on the counter. 

Hunk inspected his creation and nodded. Another half hour and he could invite everyone to his pie party. Hunk decided to catch up on cataloging his space bottle cap collection. He left the pie sitting out on the counter and made his way back to his room.

Lance peeked around the corner. He’d get Hunk back from earlier. Grabbing the pie, Lance carefully hid it under his coat, making his way out into the hallway and sneaking his way into the training room, where he found Keith practicing with Shiro.

Lance rolled his eyes. _Did they ever stop?_

“Stop simulation.” Shiro called to the computer.

Lance paused at the entrance not expecting to be noticed. He shifted the pie behind his back and gave them both a lopsided smile, “Uh, just came to watch and learn,” Lance offered in way of explanation. 

 

Keith smiled. Actually smiled. Lance was thrown back a bit at the unexpected reaction, but it was Shiro who spoke, “It’s good to see you finally taking your training seriously.” 

Lance shrugged, “Yeah, you know me, just always wanting, y’know, to improve... and stuff.”

Keith’s smile faltered, “He’s here to hide. He’s not here to train.”

“I am, too!” Lance protested.

“What? Here to hide? I know.” Keith folded his arms and rolled his eyes.

“Now Keith, Lance said he’s here to train so we should give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“Yeah, _Keith_ , stop doubting me.” Lance in that moment was stuck but both a completely stupid and also genius idea, He pulled the pie out from behind him and said, “I also brought pie for us as a snack.”

Keith looked at the pie suspiciously, “It's probably poison.”

Lance was taken aback and placed a hand over his chest in mock shock, “I’ll have you know Hunk made this and it is delish.”

Shiro smiled softly, “Well if Hunk sent us a pie, we should eat it.” He looked over to Keith, “Why don’t we take a break?”

Keith sighed, “Fine, but I’m still not convinced this isn’t some sort of setup.”

Lance didn’t have the forethought to bring plates or silverware and had the courtesy to look abashed for his misstep, “Uh we might have to eat with our hands, sorry about that.”

“No worries, Lance, thanks for bringing us a snack,” Shiro smiled softly. Keith glared. Lance walked the pie over to the other two paladins. 

Shiro used his robo hand to cut the pie, laughing the whole time, “I bet this is the first time Galra tech has been used to slice pie.” 

Lance was on the for laughing, not expecting such a joke to come from Shiro. He only got up when the other two started grabbing at the pie. They all dug in like dogs to their kibble, cherry filling flying as the three boys ate hungrily.

___

“Seriously! I just put that pie out, who took it?” Hunk grumbled, he would find his pie. He would find his pie if it was the last thing he did. 

Hunk searched high and low. He interrogated Pidge first, then Allura, and finally Coran. But still no clues about his pie.

He was about to give up when he walked by the training room. The door was wide open and inside was Shiro, Lance, and Keith, covered in red. The whole room was red. Red stained the floor, the walls, the ceiling. 

Hunk panicked, someone was clearly dying. Maybe the castle was turning on them again. Hunk ran into the room, “Where did all this blood come from? Lance are you okay? Oh My God, Lance, don’t make me be the one to tell your mother you died from a training accident.”

Lance held up his hands, “Whoa, calm down Hunk. I swear this isn’t blood, it’s cherries.”

The three boys looked at Hunk with confusion before the smell hit him. Cherries. It was cherries. Hunk’s face darkened.

“Oh my fucking god, you did not, you bitch.” Hunk glared daggers at the three of them.

“Uhhh... it was Keith,” said Lance pointing at the Red Paladin.

“What? Fuck you, no it wasn’t!”

“Nope, it totes was, I saw you take Hunk’s pie and your exact words were, ‘O-m-g I love cherries I’m going to eat the shit out of this pie and pin it on Shiro and Lance.’”

All of a sudden the alarm went off in the castle, it was Lance’s voice going “OOOOh Weeee OOOOh Weeee.” Coran and Lance had secretly recorded it one day when Lance was board and Shiro had been too busy to have it switched back.

Lance jumped up and licked cherry pie off his fingers and looked at Hunk, “Guess this fight has to wait till after we kick some Galra ass!”

Hunk sighed and looked warily at Shiro and Keith, “I expect this from Lance but I can’t believe you two were in on it too.” 

Shiro and Keith had the decency to looked abashed. 

They all took their speeders to the lions and fought the Galra hardcore, until there were nothing but ship corpses floating in the dark void of space. 

Lance shouted into the coms, “Don’t stop, get it, get it-”

Pidge chimed in, “Until you're cheddar heavy-”

Lance and Pidge sang in unison, “You watch the way I navigate, hahahahaha.’

Audible groaning was heard from all the comms at once.

They landed their lions on the planet to let the locals know they were saved by the mighty prowess of Voltron, Legendary Defender™. 

Lance took some selfies with the locals before getting Pidge and Keith to join in. Shiro kissed babies and Hunk cooked up a victory dinner. 

Lance wandered around the bonfire created for the victory party and saw one of the locals suspiciously hanging around the lions.

Lance stalked over and angrily turned on the cat-like creature, “Just what do you think you’re doing to Blue?”

The cat person gasped and whipped around, baby in one hand, other hand leaning against a white bundle that was half wedged between the cracks in in lion. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am, did you need something?”

The girl shook her head no and started to back away.

“Did you just put a dirty diaper in my lion and close it?” Lance gaped in awe and terror.

“Nooo…” The girl said before running away.

Lance eyed the half-wedge package and sniffed. “Oh god, it’s a dirty diaper.” Lance plugged his nose and used the tips of two fingers to pull the bundle from his lion. He threw it as far as he could and cringed. 

“What the fuck is wrong with these people,” Lance muttered to himself.

Lance wandered back to the bonfire to see Keith being assaulted by something resembling a sparrow. Keith screamed, “Keep your flea-riddled bird out of my hair or else.”

Lance jogged over to see what was going on. 

“What’s wrong Keith? Are you not _emused_ by their bird?”

“It’s trying to eat my hair!” Keith said, pun lost on him.

“Oh man, that’s pretty _hawkward_ , Keith.”

“The word is _awkward_ , Lance.” 

“Oh sorry. I guess my joke _flew over your head_.”

“Lance. Seriously. What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, _tweetheart_.” Lance laughed at himself.

Keith blushed, hard. 

 

They all returned to the castle. Lance’s face felt hot. He was pretty sure that Keith reacted positively to his lame bird-pun flirting. But he just had to be sure, April Fool’s plans long forgotten.

He grabbed his basket, changed into his Blue Lion PJs and walked over to Keith’s room. He knocked on the sliding doors, “Hey, Keith. You awake?” Lance called.

“Yeah, one second.” Keith sounded out of breath. 

Curiosity got the best of Lance and he pushed the button on the side of the door forcing it open. There was Keith shirtless and sweating crouched low as he threw punches. 

_Oh, merciful god in heaven, thank you for giving my bi ass this gift today. My crops are watered and my skin is cleared from this bountiful blessing you have bestowed on me_ , Lance prayed.

Keith let out an adorable squeak and ran to his black shirt, throwing it on quickly over his head.

Lance held up the basket he’d brought with him, “I thought we could try some bonding time? But, maybe you should wash your face first.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “I’m busy, Lance.” 

“Oh c’mon, just this once? For the team?” Keith seemed unconvinced. Lance tried again, “For me. Please?” He blinked his blue eyes.

Keith looked down and blushed. “Yeah, okay, fine. Just, make it quick,” Keith said mostly to the floor.

 _That was an interesting reaction_ Lance thought with a raise of an eyebrow.

Lance sat down cross legged on the middle of the floor in Keith’s room, “I’ll set up, you wash your face. What are you waiting for, an invitation from Zarkon? Go.”

Keith snapped out of his daze and went to his ensuite bathroom to wash off his sweat. Once he came back, Lance had set out different bottles all over his floor.

“You better clean up this mess after,” Keith warned

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Lance shrugged.

Lance took out two face masks from their packs and handed one to Keith. “Put this on,” he instructed. Keith just eyed it warily.

“O-M-G, do I have to do everything for you?’ Lance groaned. He got up from where he was sitting and leaned in close to Keith. He spread the face mask on Keith’s face, tracing gentle circles on the slimy cloth.

Keith winced at the shock of cold of the face mask, “How long do I have to wear this for?”

“Fifteen minutes,” Lance answered. As they waited, Lance prepped some more of his odd containers. Finally, he turned to Keith, “Okay, you can take it off. Put it back in here.” Lance held out the bag it had came in. 

Keith slipped the mask off his face and crumpled it up before shoving it into its foil packet.

He looked up to see Lance sans-face mask and applying red to his lips.

“What are you doing?’ Keith asked confused.

“This is the last step.” Lance said off-handedly.

“What is?” Keith asked, confused.

“This,” Lance said as he capped the rouge and leaned over, his bright red lips touching down on Keith’s cheek.

“Is the lipstick on my cheek really necessary?” Keith asked. 

“Yep,” Lance said, popping his lips on the _p_. “Woah, no rubbing it off,” he added, pulling Keith’s hand back down away from his cheek. “It has to stay there, it's part of the skin care routine,” Lance lied easily.

His lips still tingled from where they’d touched Keith and he wondered if Keith’s cheek felt the same tingling feeling. The red on Keith’s cheek stained prettily and matched the smear of red on Lance’s mouth which was pulled into a crooked smirk.

“Well, if that’s the case...” Keith trailed off, eyeing something that looked like a pencil.

He picked it up and put two fingers under lance’s chin. He pulled the cap off the pencil with his mouth and looked Lance in the eyes, “Don’t move.”

“What are you doing?” Lance asked, suspicious, trying to pull away.

“Payback,” Keith whispered, too close for Lance’s brain to fully function, so he just let the soft pencil do what it wanted.

Keith touched the tip of the pencil to one warm brown dot on Lance’s cheek, then he traced dark spot to dark spot across Lance’s nose. Lance crinkled the bridge of his nose, causing the pencil to make a large smear. Keith clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?” Lance asked.

“No,” was all Keith’s reply. Lance sighed.

Keith connected all of Lance’s freckles like constellations over his cheeks, besides the big smear on the bridge of his nose. Keith nodded in satisfaction at his handiwork. Lance blushed at Keith’s unwavering stare.

“You know that you are special, right?” asked Keith, a deep blush flushing into his cheeks. “You have things that others envy.”

“I play a _mean_ air guitar, if that’s what you’re asking,” Lance quipped, trying to derail the conversation.

“No, Lance.” Keith made an annoyed noise in this back back of his throat, “There’s a lot of good things about you. And sometimes I’m not sure if you can see them, so I want to show you.”

Lance sat there with eyeliner drawn crookedly on his face, mouth hanging open, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you mean a lot to some people, and I’m worried that maybe you don’t see that,” Keith said eyes cast down.

“I’m shook,” Lance said. “Who are you and where is Keith?”

Keith glared, red lips in the shape of Lance’s own standing out starkly on his pale cheek, “Lance-”

Lance coughed over Keith’s words and stood up, “I have an idea!” Keith closed his mouth sharply and glared at the other paladin in exasperation. Lance held out his hand, “Trust me?”

Keith rolled his eyes, but accepted the boost up. Lance pulled him to his feet and dragged him out the door and down the hall. 

Keith expected Lance to let go of his hand at some point outside the door, but the Blue Paladin’s grip stayed firm. The longer they walked the more Keith’s focus zeroed onto their linked hands. His body grew warmer with each step. He regretted wearing gloves that blocked the feeling of most of the other boy’s too-soft hands. 

_How does he keep his hands so soft with all our training?_ Keith thought, his own rough hands becoming increasingly apparent.

Lance pulled up short at a pair of metal doors that Keith faintly recognized.

“Where are we?” Keith quirked a thick eyebrow, not quite remember where exactly this was in the castle. 

“The holodeck. I got Allura to give me access.” Lance smirked, pride radiating off him in waves. Lance pressed a quick number sequence onto a keypad by the door and the heavy doors immediately swished open.

As soon as Lance stepped a foot into the room, a beautiful field of purplish pink flowers spread from this single footstep and rushed to the walls. Mountains bloomed in the background as the image climbed the walls finally coming to a point above them, flashing golden rays of sunshine.

“Wow,” Keith breathed out. Lance smirked like he’d just won the last slice of Hunk’s home made cake. 

“Yeah, I figured I’d take my girlfriend here when I got one. But, you’ll do, I guess.” 

“Ass,” Keith said with a smile. Lance pulled up a fist full of purple flowers and handed them over to Keith, one hand shoved in his pocket and a faint blush on his face. “Lance-” Keith tried again.

Lance talked a little too loudly, “I guess Allura doesn’t come here much anymore. Something about the day the castle turned on us. I guess the holodeck turned on her or something.”

“When have you been spending so much time with Allura?” Keith said a little too sharply.

Lance shrugged, “Hmm, here and there. We both miss our homes, you know?”

Keith nodded but didn’t really understand. He didn’t miss home like the others did. He looked down at his handful of purple flowers from Lance. He looked up and saw a small corner of bright yellow flowers. Lance was distracted playing with some panel on the wall, so Keith took the opportunity to sneak himself over.

The yellow flowers looked like something between roses and sunflowers and smelled like dark cinnamon. Keith picked one and buried his nose in it, it reminded him of Lance. He turned around, to return the favor, only to watch as the scene around Lance changed into night with fireflies dancing around him.

Lance turned to face him and his face crinkled as if he tasted something bad.

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked, thinking maybe the fireflies were supposed to either not exist or be part of the whole image. 

“Are you seriously stealing flowers off that grave?” Lance looked at Keith like he’d hit a baby.

“What? No! I mean, I don’t think so!” Keith looked at the flower and then back at Lance.

Lance shook his head, “No, that is totally Allura’s dad’s grave flower, man. Not cool, bro. You shouldn’t steal from the dead.”

“I didn’t! I mean.... Shit.” Keith dropped the flower and looked back up at Lance with fear lacing his face.

“Dude, don’t throw it on the floor! God, Keith, you’re hopeless.” Lance bent down and picked up the flower, brushing off holo-dirt. He walked over and placed the flower gently down onto the pile of alabaster stones that marked Alfor’s grave.

“Maybe the Holodeck is too high level for you,” Lance mused.

“No! I’m fine. I won’t touch anything else.” Keith waved his hands to show how much they weren't touching anything at the moment. 

“Well I guess…” Lance turned again to mess with the panel on the wall and this time the night fireflies spread to the whole room, a blue fountain sprung up in the middle of the firefly forest.

“Wow, it looks just like Earth.” Keith stared up at the almost perfect replica of constellations in the sky.

“I’ve been working on it for a long time. Pidge helped with some of the code, but I was able to do most of it by myself. I work on it when I’m depressed. It helps.”

Keith just nodded silently. He tore his eyes from Orion's belt to the blue fountain lit by fireflies. “Why is the fountain blue like that?” Keith pointed a finger to the almost glowing blue water the spilled out of it.

“Oh, well, I’m doing it by myself mostly, Pidge only helped a little, that’s why it’s so rough. And I’m not really sure how to code a clear color. So it’s just...blue,” Lance explained rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Not bad,” Keith nodded. 

Lance stepped closer to Keith, “I come here when I miss Earth, miss home. I don’t want to forget anything.”

“I understand,” Keith replied, but when had their faces gotten inches apart?

Lance’s breath tickled Keith’s face as the taller boy breathed softly, “You okay, Keith?”

Keith’s brain was short circuiting, “Uh, yeah. Should something be wrong?” He put a hand on Lance’s shoulder to steady himself.

“Oh, do you like my shirt?” Lance quipped, shoving his body forward, breaking the tension.

“Huh? Um, I guess?” Keith looked down at Lance’s signature blue and white baseball T. 

“It’s really nice, right? It’s made out of boyfriend material, just like me!” Lance shot him a shit-eating grin.

Keith pushed away and buried his face in his hands, “Oh my god, Lance, why do you have to be so…?” he trailed off.

“So, Lance?” the other boy offered.

“Yes! So _Lance_ ,” Keith agreed.

Lance shrugged, smirk plastered on his face, “Because it’s fun.” Lance jumped and snapped his fingers. 

“I just remembered something,” Lance’s smile grew wide on his face, “Wanna try it out?” Lance asked eagerly.

Keith shifted warily, “Try what out?” Keith reeled at the shift in conversation. Lance could switch topics faster than a Nascar racer could turn left.

“The fountain, of course!” Lance started to strip his clothes, throwing his blue and white baseball t-shirt to the ground. He was working on his pants when Keith started screaming incoherently and swatting at his hands.

“What’s your problem?” Lance asked, annoyed.

“What’s _my_ problem? What’s _your_ problem? _What are you doing?!_ ” Keith almost squealed.

“Uh, going for a swim. I made the fountain warm,” Lance wiggled his eyebrows, “Like a hot tub.”

“A hot tub?” Keith couldn’t help thinking about their failed swimming pool incident.

“Don’t worry, Keith, we’ll stay ‘five feet apart because we’re not gay’,” Lance spoke in sing-song, elbowing Keith in the side with a smirk.

Keith stepped back and thought for a moment, “Hmm, okay.”

“Wait, you wanna?” Lance asked, surprise and confusion plastered on his face.

“Yeah, why not?” Keith said, throwing his black shirt to join Lance’s. 

Lance smiled and stepped out of his pants, black boxer briefs the only thing keeping him decent, he looked back at Keith and winked, “You ready for all this?” Keith rolled his eyes, but his blush was almost glowing from his face. He made swift work of his pants and they joined the the pile as well. Lance dipped his feet into the fountain and smiled back at Keith, “Hurry up, mullet! What are you waiting for, a personal invitation from Zarkon?”

“What is your obsession with invitations from Zarkon?” Keith grumbled but he never backed down from a challenge, so he stepped into the fountain with Lance, only to be greeted by water splashing into his face.

“Why you!” Keith growled, before scooping up a handful of water and splashing back. They splashed each other until both of them were soaked to the core. Their underwear uncomfortably wet and sticking to them.

Keith kept his eyes trained on Lance’s nose.

“C’mon, Keith, do you surrender to Lance, House of Serrano, creator of virtual worlds?!” Lance used both arms to send a constant surge of water at Keith’s general direction.

Before Keith could answer with his own onslaught, the holodeck doors swished open and Coran stepped in, “I’m sorry, but swimming in the fountain isn’t allowed. The water simulator is malfunctioning.”

“How? How! What? Coran!” Lance stammered.

“I was watching you from the viewfinder, Lance, I don’t think you should stand in that water much longer,” Coran advised.

“What, why?” Lance looked down, but hopped out of the foundation. Keith couldn’t help the guffaw that exploded from his lips. 

Lance looked down at himself, his whole body was splattered with blue splashes. He glared at Keith, but then his eyes grew wide. “You're one to talk, you’re the same is me!” Lance smiled cocklily.

“What the hell is going on, Coran? Keith asked, stepping out of the fountain as well.

“I told you, there was a malfunction with the simulator. But I’m sure it will be easy to fix, if we get Pidge and Hunk on it.”

“No,” Lance said flatly, and shook his head violently. “No way, this is my pet project. _I_ will figure out what’s wrong with the simulator.”

Keith piped up, “How about we put on some pants and figure this out?”

“ _Right now_ , right now?” Lance asked.

“Why not? We might as well. We’re already here.” 

“But Keith, this could take hours, days, weeks. Who knows?!”

“Hmmmm,” Keith pretended to think about it, “We should get started on it, then.”

“Well, I guess you have a point,” Lance smiled and patted Keith on the back, “Yes! Let’s do this without Pidge and Hunk! If you help me fix this, you can have all the simulated earth time you want!” Lance winked.

“I’m sorry boys, I have maintenance to do for the castle’s defence system, so you're on your own, I’m afraid.”

“No worries, Coran! We got this!” Lance shot Coran two thumbs up.

When the doors slide shut Lance visibly relaxed and shot a side eye to Keith, “Is that a ring box in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”

Keith’s blush rushed upward, filling his face and chest, spreading out like a blossom. He quickly covered himself with his hands and shot daggers with his eyes at Lance.

“Joking, joking, Well not joking about that package. Da~mn, boy.” Lance shook his head.

“Oh my god, Lance, drop it.”

Lance fingered the waistband of his boxer briefs, “I’ll think about it.” Lance’s face was pure evil.

Keith couldn’t hold back any longer, “Lance-- ugh, you fucker.” Keith grabbed Lance by the back of his neck and pressed their lips together. Their kiss was sloppy and wet and unpracticed. It was more of a fight for dominance than a real kiss. Lance bit and nibbled and traced Keith’s dark lips with his tongue. The red lipstick on Keith’s cheek stained Lance’s fingers.

Keith sucked at Lance’s mouth like it was the only way to breathe and he was a drowning man. He pulled at Lance’s short hair and ran his fingers down his face trying to touch every inch, his fingers stained black from the eyeliner on Lance’s freckles.

By the end they were both a mess, spotted blue and smeared in makeup, lips puffy and eyes hooded. 

“What was that for?” Lance breathed more than spoke.

“I thought you’re mouth could be put to better use.” Keith smirked licking his lips, “Did you still want to work on the holodeck?’

“No, I think I can think of better uses for your hands than typing Altean code.” Lance wiggled his eyebrows. 

Keith nearly growled and Lance melted on the spot at the sound. Keith launched himself onto the blue paladin and kissed him under the misshapen constellations as fireflies sparkled around them.

/end scene/

**Author's Note:**

> I should reevaluate my life. What am I doing with my time? Why are we all here? What does an apartment even mean, Rachel? 
> 
> Only 3 more days till season 4, hang in there friends!
> 
> \------------------------------------
> 
> “Is it hard to correct me when I'm drunk?”
> 
> “It’s about the same.”
> 
> -Starbuck7 2k17
> 
>  
> 
> [Stalk me on Tumblr!](http://yuzuling.tumblr.com/) Because I love you!


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